You’ve heard it before. It’s not about size, it’s about how you use it. We agree, but what if you can’t use it for more than a minute or two? It doesn’t matter how impressive your sex skills are if you’re passing out before kick-off.
Not being able to last long in bed is a downer (excuse the pun) for everyone involved. Your self-esteem takes a knock, your partner might feel frustrated, and tensions escalate. Sexual satisfaction is important. Other than the very obvious satisfaction side of it, a happy sex life is associated with better bonding, stronger commitment, and overall improved mood. In fact, women who don’t feel sexually satisfied experience more marital problems and are more likely to ask for a divorce.
When you can’t last long, satisfaction decreases, and it can have detrimental effects on your relationship and mental health. But there’s a solution. Keep reading to learn how to last longer in bed.
Premature ejaculation (PE) is a diagnosable sexual dysfunction. Men who deal with PE on average ejaculate 1 minute or less into intercourse – a good 6 minutes short of the average man’s stamina. This could be frustrating for both you and your partner.
PE can be caused by a number of psychological factors including stress; mental health conditions like depression and anxiety; low self-esteem; sexual performance anxiety; sexual repression, and guilt.
It can also be caused by physical factors like erectile dysfunction; hormones; certain medications; prostate or urethra inflammation or infection; and even genetics. If you regularly experience PE, it’s important that you speak to your doctor and narrow down the cause so you can explore appropriate treatment options.
Using Science To Last Longer
Even if you don’t suffer with premature ejaculation, you might be keen on increasing your stamina for even longer bedroom adventures. Either way, there are science-backed methods to make your mojo last longer.
Work your pelvic floor
Yup. Kegels aren’t just for the ladies. For both men and women, healthy pelvic muscles play an integral part in sexual satisfaction by impacting sensation and in this case, stamina. A 2014 study found promising results that indicated that a strong pelvic floor could help men gain control over when they ejaculate.
Commitment is key, so if you want this to work, block out time each day to work your pelvic floor.
Investigate your meds
Certain anxiety and depression medications may cause ED or PE. Don’t go and stop taking them, but definitely consult your doctor about your options.
Indulge in more foreplay (our personal favourite)
Foreplay gives your partner some time to warm up so that they’ll also be close to climaxing when you are. Foreplay could also be the main event, and bring them to orgasm. When the pressure of pleasing them with penetrative sex lifts, you might find you’ll have a more satisfying time when it’s your turn. Believe it or not, you can have sex without an erection, and that might be the key to a more satisfying sex life for you and your partner.
Masturbating a few hours before sex helps release some of the sexual energy you’ve accumulated over time, helping you last longer when sexy time comes. Keep in mind the refractory period – the time after an ejaculation where its difficult or impossible to get hard or ejaculate. This could be anywhere from 15 minutes to 24 hours. You know you, so just remember you probably won’t get lucky or cross the finish line if you cut your pre-sex masturbation session a bit fine.
Tug on your balls
Don’t pull them off, but as you get closer to finishing your balls rise up. Cupping them and gently pulling them downwards may help you last longer.
Edging is a method where, after reaching the brink of orgasm, you stop the action for 30 seconds or so until you feel the feeling pass. After it passes, you continue as you were. You repeat this stop-start action until you’re ready. When the time comes (😉) you’ll find that your orgasm is more powerful than usual.
Try new positions
Certain sexual positions are more intense for a male partner. Switching between deeper, more potent positions to positions that are either more shallow, involve less thrusting, or involve more work on your part, could be a fun way to help you fight PE and give your partner a chance to get closer to the finish line before you do.
Physical health and sexual stamina are linked. A 2019 study found that both men and women who do more cardiovascular exercise on a weekly basis experience less sexual dysfunction that people who do less. If you’ve ever needed a better motivation to get fit, now you have it.
Increase your testosterone
Testosterone is needed for healthy erectile function and ejaculation. Increasing the levels of testosterone in your body could be what you need to last longer. There’s no need to take testosterone supplements but eating more foods that help your body make the hormone could help. Saffron, fenugreek, and ginseng are a few foods that help increase testosterone levels.
Find a therapist
PE can be caused by psychological factors. If that’s the case for you, you definitely want to consider therapy. A licensed professional will equip you with the tools you need to foster a healthy relationship with sex, which will have positive effects on your stamina in the bedroom, among other things. There’s no shame in getting professional input.
Premature ejaculation affects a lot of guys in their lifetimes, and while it’s a huge damper on a satisfying sex life for you and your partner it’s not a death sentence for your relationship. Depending on the cause of your PE there are a bunch of science-backed methods to help you overcome it, last longer in bed, and build a fulfilling sex life.
If you’re worried about PE, talk to your doctor and learn more about the options available to you for treatment.
The articles published by &BAM are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice. If you have any medical questions or concerns, you should contact your doctor.